So, What's Love Got To Do With It?

So, What’s Love Got To Do With It?

So, the world just celebrated Valentine’s Day.  Big deal, right?  Love was in the air.  Flowers were everywhere and candy was dandy and forever on the hips.  Everyone had someone to love it seems, but by Friday things were back to normal and by next week we will be hard pressed to find love anywhere.  We look for love, “in all the wrong places” and in what we are told are all the “right” places.  We look to our family, friends, social media, dating services, books, movies and church.  The problem is we find disappointment in all those places, even in church. 

If I were to ask people to define the word “love”, I would probably get as many different definitions as there are people.  So the place we really need to start is in a true definition of the word, love.  The U.S. English Thesaurus gives these synonyms for the word love:  affection, adoration, friendship, tenderness, feeling, fondness, devotion, passion, ardor, amity, adore, worship and fancy.   It also has the following phrases:  care for, find irresistible, hold dear and be keen on.  A line from the movie Love Story, became a 20^th century definition for love.  (Seems to show the sway the movie industry has on us!  That movie was released in 1970, 43 years ago!)  You can probably quote it yourself.  “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” 

Breaking each of these down, do they really define love?  What is love and what are the implications of it?   Let me give you a one word definition…..God!  Not feelings, emotions or actions, but God!  God is love and He will never change, give up or fall out or in.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever!  He is I Am! 

Do you remember my last post where I talked about the wedding vows?  Well, the truth is we are incapable of knowing anything about love apart from Him!  Look around you.  What do you see?  Do you see a world full of love by any definition?  I see glimpses of love, but in general I see hatred, greed, jealousy, strife, selfishness.  School shootings, bullying, abductions, child molestations, abuse, neglect shall I go on?  On a typical day, how many stories do you hear that are filled with love? 

But God is love!  And the best part is He first loved us and the only way we can truly know how to love is to be joined with Him in marriage!  I want to pick up where I left off 2 weeks ago.  (Sorry for the delay, but the overtime at work – I have worked 13 days in a row – have kept me a little busy.)  The next section of scripture covers the Parashat – Mishpatim; Exodus chapters 21 – 24. 

When you start reading this section the first words you read are: “And these are the ordinances (laws) that you shall place before them:”  and you will most likely think, what does love or marriage have to do with those?  Let me expound on that thought.  Think back to the last post on the marriage vows.  Love (grace) with boundaries (judgments).  Love must have boundaries in order to function properly, but I want you to have the correct view of what a boundary is. 

A boundary is a marker to show where the safety ends and the danger begins.  Anything outside that boundary line can be a danger to us and when we choose to cross that line we risk injury to ourselves and to any others that may be with us.   The boundaries spelled out in this passage of Scripture, is a little different from the “wedding vows” we looked at last time.  These boundaries are all about how God’s family relates to each other and the world around them.  They are God’s parenting rules, so to speak.  God wants people to know who His children are by their actions toward one another and toward others in the world. 

Let me give you an example.  The greatest spelled out definition of love is in I Corinthians 13.  In verse 4 it says, “Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful, not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.”  Great!  Now how can we go wrong with this definition?  Read it again without boundaries.  Patient – a synonym for patient is tolerant.  Can we be patient or tolerant with something that is deplorable and harmful to another and call this love?  Was Paul implying that we are just to be patient and kind with a child or spouse who is an addict or are we to intervene?  What about that word jealous?  Alright, true love means not being jealous.  So then it’s okay for a spouse to have other sexual partners?  We just aren’t supposed to be easily angered by it or jealous of them?  Can you see my point? 

Love has boundaries, but not ultimatums.  Love does NOT say, “I will love you if you do certain things or act a certain way…”  Love says, “because I love you I want the best for you……”   Those two statements are worlds apart.  Boundaries are "care markers."  I want to relay something to you that I heard from the mouth of one of my son's friends a few years ago.  During a particular rebellious period of his life, my son and one of his friends was in our kitchen and had started out the back door.  The conversation between my son and his father was not a good one and as my husband looked at our son he simply said, "son, I'm telling you this, because I care about you."  Our son replied, "well, I don't want you to care."  To that remark, his friend replied, "oh you want them to care!"  I stood there stunned for a moment as they turned and walked out the door.  

I knew a little about that young man's life and it wasn't good.  I won't go into detail about it, but that incident was two years ago and in that short two years he has done a stint in juvenile hall and is now serving time for grand theft.  My heart breaks for him.  His parents set no boundaries.  My son rebelled heavily, BUT we stayed the course, because we loved him - unconditionally!  Was it easy?  Absolutely not!  That year was the hardest year of my life, but the reward has been momentous!!!!  This past Valentine's Day, in fact, my son posted on facebook a note which said, (regarding both me and his now girlfriend) "Happy Valentines Day to the two most important women in my life (here he named us both, but I have deleted that for the girlfriend's privacy). They help me get through so much, and I owe my happiness to both of them! Love you girls!"

 Could a mom ask for anything more?  Do you think those boundaries were the correct thing?  Were they in line with what God meant for us to do with our son?  Were they an extension of our love?  You had better believe it.  Two families, one who showed true love, the kind with boundaries; while the other said they loved, but never set boundaries at all.  I am going to give you one other example, but you will have to purchase this one.  If you want to hear some beautiful music and also hear some fantastic testimonies, check out a DVD by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir.  There is one particular one which has a testimony by a young woman who was raised by parents who loved "unconditionally" they claimed.  The problem was the parents didn't believe in boundaries of any kind.  You really need to hear both the mother and daughter's story.  It is titled, I'm Amazed  http://store.brooklyntabernacle.org/products.php?product=I%27m-Amazed-%28DVD%29

Read on into verse 6, “Love does not gloat over other people’s sins but takes its delight in the truth.”  What we tend to relay to the world, unfortunately, is a lot of finger pointing.  Love is about the truth and at times that means speaking the truth in love.  (I am so afraid someone is going to hear me say something here that I am not saying!  This is not an excuse for soapbox preaching and letting someone have it!  This kind of love talk should only occur after much prayer and more prayer and allowing the Father to lead the heart, mind and mouth, got it?  Well?  Okay!)  And this only happens between family members.  As for the world, we are to love and show them Christ, period!  Love is always concerned with the welfare of the other person not self-righteousness; that fact is supposed to be the motivation behind the discipline process with our children.  Our goal should be to shape our children into well behaved adults not allow them to become out of control beasts.     

At one point in my life I was given the following definition for love that I lived by for many years.  “Love is not a feeling you fall in or out of.  It is a deliberate choice you make based on what is best for all those around you regardless of the cost to yourself.”  I love this definition for the most part (there is that word love again!)  The only problem I have with it now that I know a little more is this:  love really isn’t a choice.  Love is God and if we are His then it really isn’t a choice it is who we are.  We MUST love!  Yes we do have a choice to be who we are or to act as an impostor, but I am His and I should want the world to know to whom I belong! 

This is where the section of Mishpatim comes into play.  These “ordinances” are the measuring rod for us to live by.  They are examples of how we should conduct ourselves in every area of our life.  It also shows the world our love and lets the world see how God loves us and them.  Love must be put into action for the world to see it.  The worst thing about any of God’s children crossing the boundaries is that it gives the people of the world a reason to mock God.  When we disobey our Father, we bring dishonor to our Father.  He still loves us and we need to know that we can never do anything to lose that love, but we may face natural consequences of our actions.  We will definitely face a strained relationship with Him until we resolve the issue through our repentance.  We never lose our status as His child, but my, oh my how that relationship is not the same until WE repent.  You know what I am talking about and many of you are probably there right now.  There are seasons of my life when I have been that rebellious teenager, haven’t you?  Testing the boundaries and crossing them with an, “I dare you” look.  Oh how I grieve over those days in my life. 

Go back to verse 1 in our Corinthians reading.  “I may speak in the tongues of men, even angels; but if I lack love, I have become merely blaring brass or a cymbal clanging.”    My family is a very musical family.  My oldest son is a guitarist and my youngest son is a brass player so I know musical instruments.  This verse reminds me of an incident a few months ago.  My youngest son has an old trumpet in his room, but it has no mouthpiece.  He does have several though, that fit a tuba and they are sitting around on shelves.  We had a family cookout at our house and my 8 year old great-nephew wandered into my son’s room and found the trumpet.  He then picked up one of the mouthpieces for a tuba and tried to make it fit and proceeded to “play” the trumpet.  He carried that trumpet all through the house and out into the yard “playing” that trumpet.  The reason I have put quotation marks around playing, is that at 8 years old and never having lessons (and much to the chagrin of the entire family in a house with only hardwood floors), all he managed to get out was the sound of “blaring brass!”  Believe me, it was not what you would have heard if you had been listening to the New York Philharmonic Orchestra! 

I am so afraid this is what the world hears when we talk about love.  Just as many of my family members kept yelling, “Luke, stop playing that trumpet!  You are hurting our ears!”  The world keeps telling us, “Stop trying to tell us about love, because you are hurting our ears!”  We aren’t playing beautiful melodious music.  We are “blaring brass” that are annoying, distracting and will eventually cause people to go deaf.  Oh my!  Are people putting ear plugs in their ears to keep from hearing us?  I’m afraid so and that means we had better start putting our love into action, BUT we have to follow the instructions on how to do that from the Torah or we will begin skewing love in our own direction, not Gods. 

Aha!  That’s where Mishpatim comes into play!  There are 4 chapters of instructions, but there are many more than these since these are just the beginning.  These four chapters have to do with civil and tort law.  We need to also understand that rather than taking each of these literally, they need to be understood in context.  They are not about legalities as much as they are about us making sure that in every area of our life, love is the driving force in the decisions we make.  Those decisions should be based equally on grace, mercy and judgment; chesed AND gevurah.  I have somewhere further I want to go with this one when we get to the book of Leviticus, so hang onto this thought process!!!

Now let me show you something even more exciting as we step into the section known as Terumah!  This section is known as “The Heave Offering.”  This begins a section of scripture that a lot of people find to be very boring details of the description of how to build the Tabernacle.  That is the problem with Western eyes.  Oh, but to see things with Eastern eyes!!!! 

The Tabernacle, and later the Temple, is the dwelling place of God, Himself.  BUT, it also is….the Messiah!  Do you remember when I talked in earlier posts about fractals?  Well, this is NOT one.  You see a fractal contains the whole, but isn’t the whole.  This is the whole.  The Shechinah came upon and into the Tabernacle and all the people for miles could see it.  God, dwelling among His people.  The Tabernacle was God’s physical dwelling on earth, just as Jesus was God’s physical dwelling on earth. 

I want you to see something so really, really deep in this.  I am going to print a quote from one of the Jewish sages on this one that I found. 

“What is the meaning of the verse (Song of Songs ), "I have come into My garden, My sister, My bride"? This means [the G-d says, "I have returned] to My bridal chamber, to the place which has been My principal abode from the very beginning." For was not the principal abode of the Shechinah (Divine Presence) in the terrestrial regions? For so it is written (Genesis 3:8), "And they heard the voice of the L-rd G-d walking in the garden"

Is this not absolutely wonderful!  The quote above was a commentary on the Shechinah coming to rest on the Tabernacle.  Think about it.  Weren’t we talking about God being the Groom, in my last post?  WOW!  God returned to His bridal chamber when He came into the Tabernacle!!!!  What about when He came to earth as a baby!!!!  Mama Mia!!!!  If you can see that the Tabernacle WAS the Messiah and vice versa, I want you to really, really hold onto that thought for the next several weeks.  It is imperative that you understand that fact in light of the scripture we are going to delve into. 

Now, what does love have to do with the Tabernacle?  Go back to the first part of this post.  What is the definition of love?  God!  If God is love and the Tabernacle is where He dwells on earth then the Tabernacle must be full of LOVE!  If the Tabernacle is the Messiah, then the Messiah is also full of LOVE, right?   And if we have the Messiah living in us, then we must also be full of LOVE, right?  Come on, now, right?  We are, once Yeshua ascended to heaven, the receptacles of the Holy Spirit who came to dwell in us, an extension of God, Himself. 

So, why don’t we love like Yeshua loved?  Matthew 22:37-40 tells us that after being questioned as to what was the greatest commandment, Yeshua answered:

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your knowledge.’  This is the greatest and first mitzvah (commandment).  But the second is similar to it:  ‘Love your fellow man as yourself.  The entire Torah and the Prophets hang on these two mitzvot.’”

So why aren’t we loving God with all our heart, soul and knowledge and loving our fellow man as ourselves?  Don’t worry; I’m asking myself this question as much or more than I am asking you.  Yeshua told His disciples, “I am giving you a new mitzvah:  that you love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  With this all will know that you are my disciples:  if love dwells among you.”  John 13:34-35 

There it is!  If Love dwells among you!!!!  Who is love?  God is love!!!!!  You cannot have one without the other!  If you say you have God, but have not love…….well, remember the 8 yr. old with the trumpet?   The world is lost and dying in their quest for the one thing we have….LOVE!  Why are we hoarding something that everyone needs and believe me there is plenty for everyone!  Why is loving so difficult?  Yeshua told us to love our enemies, but the problem is that we have problems loving our brothers and sisters in the church!  Am I right?  How many churches do you know that are in a constant squabble or have split over insignificant issues?  Where is the love? 

Friends, love has EVERYTHING to do with everything!!!!  GOD wants to saturate every single part of our life!  He doesn’t want a little corner, but the entire life!  Never forget this one thing; Love means more than just one sided emotions and actions.  If you have only love (chesed, grace, mercy) without judgment (gevurah, boundaries) then you have a skewed vision of life and God.  God is a God of order and balance and He always measures out what we need to keep things in balance.   This one principle is in every verse of scripture you read, from the 1^st verse of Genesis to the last verse of Revelation:  LOVE HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT my friend, but love is a two-way street.  God loves you, but it does you no good unless you accept His love.  Have you accepted His love?  He wants to count you as His own!  Let me tell you, there may be boundaries, but the property inside………well its’ an Oasis!!!

I will leave you with a little piece of homework with this one.  It just seems appropriate.  Do a little research on some of the Judaic websites on the phrase:  measure for measure!   Until next time, Shalom!