My Sunday School class was quite different today. Whereas most Sundays the discussion is pretty well agreed upon, today was not usual. I really think were it not that the people of this class get along very well, we would have drawn a line in the sand. We are all very discerning of the feelings of other class members and try hard to neither embarrass nor offend each other, while at the same time being careful to not water down the scriptures. We think before we speak and choose our words carefully. So what was the subject matter which so quickly seemed to divide us? One word - homosexuality.
A friend and I have this same discussion quite often as well. What do we do with "those" people? "Don't they know that homosexuality is a sin?" It seems that this "issue" is the topic of the century. The debate is whether it is a choice or if one is born that way? Christians are quick to jump in with, "If we don't fight to keep gay marriage illegal, what's next? Gay marriage hurts traditional marriage."
A particular co-worker and I had a serious debate one afternoon about a year ago. This man, who is a Christian, became angrier and angrier by the moment as I calmly defended them. (Let me just say that I am not saying gay people are committing a great sin, neither am I saying they aren't. I will explain this further later on.) My defense was that the Church bullies people within this group. We tolerate other "sins" while saying this "sin" is absolutely unacceptable and these people need to choose heterosexuality.
What disturbs me greatly in the disagreement with my co-worker is that, as a man, he is adamant about how disgusting and disturbing it is to think about two men while I have overheard several of the men make comments about how they love watching a little "girl on girl" action. Say what? Isn't that even more discriminatory? It's okay for two women to be lovers, but not two men?
If you insist on calling out sin as sin, then apply it equally to ALL sins. When a man comes to work and shares with his buddies all about his sexual exploits with his wife from the previous night, how is that not degrading his wife? I know gay men and women who would never talk about their sexual exploits or the proficiency of their partner. So why must straight men, who claim to be God's child, think this is okay?
What I don't understand, and guess I will never understand, is why many of us are so quick to judge others without first judging ourselves. Jesus, himself, told us to do that. He says in Matthew 7:1-5, "You shall not judge, lest you be judged. For with the judgment that you judge, you will be judged and with the measure that you measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you notice a chip that is in your brother's eye, and you do not observe the plank that is in your own eye? Or how do you say to your brother, 'Let me cast out the chip from your eye', and behold, a plank is in your eye? Hypocrite! First cast out the plank from your eye, and then you will see to cast out the chip from your brother's eye."
Oh boy! That scripture puts it very simply that if we spend every day judging ourselves, we won't have time to judge others. Our problem many times, is that by judging others who commit such "atrocious sins", we don't look quite so bad ourselves.
So, what do we do with those people? You know, the "gays"? The same thing we do with all those other people who "sin", (which includes all of us). We love. We simply love them without expecting anything from them. Why? It is because WE are not the judge. Say what? That's right. I hate to burst some bubbles here but, we are not the judge nor the jury. Truth is we are also not the Saviour. His name is God.
But, even in this we do not quite understand judgment. Judgment, in the Bible that is, means something very different than we have been taught. The word translated judgment in the Bible is defined as "realignment." God himself will realign all of us. I cannot realign anyone, because I also am out of line. I must focus on getting myself realigned with the help of God, blessed be He.
What would happen in our world, if all the people who claim to be Christians would stop judging and start loving. My Rebbe said something last week that has given me cause to pause and think. The sages tell about a disciple who asked his Rebbe, "Master, why is there war?"
The Rebbe replied, "Because at some point in the past, in a remote area of the world, in a family, the father yelled at the son and the ripples began to waft out."
The disciple then asked, "So, how do we stop it?"
The Rebbe replied, "When a mother wakes her daughter by saying, 'Good morning, my beautiful child. You are loved and cared for and will be a blessing to all in your lifetime.' "
And the ripples will carry out and go on and on and on.
Several months ago I was in a large grocery store in my town. My town is relatively small with a university that actually doubles the population during the fall and spring. As I turned into an aisle I saw an old friend. The two of us stopped to chat and while standing there someone walked by us pushing a cart. I looked up to see a man, (it was quite obvious), dressed as a woman. He looked to be in his mid 50's and was wearing a dress, high heels, a wig and makeup. I have no clue if this man was a cross dresser or transgender. I didn't ask. He smiled at me and said, "Excuse me," as he tried to maneuver his cart around ours.
I hurried to move out of his way as I do for everyone else while trolling down the aisles weekly. I looked him in the eye, smiled and said, "No problem, have a wonderful day."
The friend I was conversing with turned to me and said, "Well you don't see that every day in this town."
I replied, "No, you certainly don't." Yet in my mind I was thinking, I wonder how many people are kind to him? I would bet he gets more hateful looks and snide remarks than kindness. I have never seen this man again. Could he have really been an angel in disguise to see how I would react?
One can simply not go wrong with kindness and love. Later on in that scripture from Matthew, Jesus says: "Therefore, everything that you wish man would do for you, thus also you do for them. For this is the Torah and the Prophets." Matthew 7:12.
Those people deserve love. They deserve kindness. They deserve to meet people who are 'Torah made flesh.'
Love, love, love.....that is what we do with those people. Shalom.
